South Sudanese Riches

The real riches aren't tucked away in a billfold, pocketbook, bank, or in physical possessions. The real riches lie within each of us, and can be viewed in a simple smile.

SUFFERING!

 

 

     This is a short story that I wrote after hearing about a gruesome suicide on the local news a few years ago. This is what I imagined might be going through a person's head as he or she sat looking down at the water far below while clinging to the cold metal railing of a dark and lonely bridge. If people are defeated enough to end their lives, they must be searching for courage to commit that horrendous deed. Too, they are surely having arguments within, while in the back of their minds was a hopeful plea to God for another chance to start fresh. Just like the miracle of conversion to Christ brings a fresh start - a clean slate - a new self.

 

 

Oh, Lord, it's me - again.

This bridge is high and cold,

the wind cuts through my body, grown thin from those life-sucking drugs.

Are you too busy for a talk with this sinner -

this sinner that's on his knees - again?

I just had to talk before I go, before I end it.

Oh, who am I kidding?

Even God doesn't want to talk to me!

People tell me a person can't go any lower than hell,

but, by the way, I'm feeling, they may be wrong.

As you must know, I'd have to climb up to reach worthless.

You must be aware of the fact that I'm loathed by friends, so-called and otherwise.

Ah, yes, let's not forget that I'm so pathetic as to not even have enemies.

You know my style - I've stuffed my life-pockets with good-for-nothing playthings.

Yes, Lord, add the fact that over the years I have mixed my clean spirit with polluted waters.     

Now - life has become purposeless, futile, pointless - all of the above.

There is no denying that I've knowingly fed my soul with sin-infected foods.

Yet - here I am Lord, on my knees talking to you - again!

Yet - here I am Lord, asking not for what I deserve - again!

Yet - here I am Lord, with that last breath you talked about - again!

I guess you know that you are causing me a great deal of distress - not badmouthing - not lecturing.

Yeah, alright, I get you, what I meant is it makes me feel so good.

Uh-uh, no way, I can't put you and me through this again, but I have no other choice but to...

Lord, do you think I could put on a new self?

Lord, do you think I'm worth saving?

Lord, seriously, do you think I can change for real this time?

To be truthful, I just don't know if I can - I'm tired, oh, so tired.

I can hardly get out of bed in the morning.

You might as well hang a vacancy sign on me.

My soul has been vacated.

How did it all come to this?

Seriously, Lord, I don't suppose you would be up to giving me another one-more chance?

Please, Lord, I have no one else to turn to - all my bridges are burned.

You really weren't my last option - I was just too embarrassed, too scared to ask again.

I realize that I'm asking a lot by imploring your forgiveness, much less your Love.

I take full responsibility for letting the evil-one drag my soul through his vile domain.

I'm so sorry for letting him ravage this once-holy temple when I could have simply said, no.

Maybe it would be better for both of us if I would just slink quietly away while I am still able.

Father - why are you so silent?

Your silence intimidates me.

Is your silence saying go away, or has my lifestyle deafened me to your words?

Heh, I think you at long last have washed your hands of me?

How can I blame you?

Oh, come on, you can't turn your back on me.

I plead on my knees to you, the God of the living.

Oh, please, be listening, be here, Lord.

What is wrong with me, Lord!

I cannot hear nor see You! - Am I both blind and deaf?

Ah - once upon a time I was able to see and hear You - to feel you - to pour out my soul to you.

Where and how did I take that wrong turn - away from you?

How did I part ways with you?

Oh, but I did - oh, but this world - but my weaknesses!

I'm becoming melancholy - me.

Am I alone in these - oh, what does it matter, but it does - doesn't it?

I remember long ago during my childhood when at night my Mother made me kneel beside my bed and talk to You?

How fondly, I recall your comforting voice when my room was dark and full of scary shadows on the walls.

Well, Father, there are horrifying shadows surrounding me, now.

Where are you?

The time is rapidly approaching.

The wind - I'm so very cold - the night is chilling me with hopelessness.

Oh, my Lord, where did that simple child go?

Remember, the child you used to speak to?

I can't blame you for casting me away.

In truth, I'm just feeling sorry for myself - I'm good at that - as you know.

At least, I have had a smile on my face for a small-passing moment with these thoughts of You.

They have given me the courage to do at least one good thing for this once-loved world - to rid it of myself.

I'm not backing away from the deed this time.

If you're around Lord, please, turn your face away - I think You too soft to watch.

Quickly, my Lord, I must go before this new-found bravery turns its back on me.

And please, forgive me!

And remember me not as I die, but as that innocent child who lived every day for you - my loving Lord.

Where are you, my Father?

I don't suppose - no - I will be forever obliterated from your sight, for this sin is the icing on the cake.

I can't see you!

If you are this oh-so-powerful God, why can't you say a few simple words before I go away - forever - if you please?

Speak up. I can't hear you.

You know, I sincerely did, do love you.

This is goodbye.

Oh, Father! - What have you done?

What - have you robbed me of even this small act of contrition?

Who's this bleeding-heart telling me I'm loved and sticking his nose where it doesn't belong?

Who have you sent to spoil the one good act I was capable of?

Who is this thief trying to rob me of ending this pain?

Lord, once again I have turned you from more noble deeds.

I beg your forgiveness.

I know my past promises, but this time I'll make good use of this last chance.

But, out of all this, Father, I now know - you still hear me - you still love me.

After all, isn't that what I wanted - needed?

Father, I thank you, love you, hear you, and feel you - once more.

After all, isn't that what you wanted?

 

2018 Report on International Religious Freedom: South Sudan

 

 

Executive Summary

The transitional constitution stipulates separation of religion and state, prohibits religious discrimination, and provides religious groups freedom to worship and assemble, organize themselves, teach, own property, receive financial contributions, communicate and issue publications on religious matters, and establish charitable institutions.  Both government and opposition forces reportedly engaged in attacks on religious buildings and killings of religious workers.  On May 16, government forces attacked Emmanuel Christian College in Yei, killing at least 10 persons, five of them children.

On May 12, attackers killed a local pastor and his wife in a home invasion in Juba.  On July 23, a protest by a group of youths demanding employment turned violent in Maban, and the rioters attacked and destroyed the compounds of several nongovernmental organizations (NGOs), including those of several missionary groups.  The country’s religious institutions reportedly remained a crucial source of stability in an otherwise unstable country.  Religious leaders stated that a diverse network of Catholic, Protestant, and Muslim domestic and international organizations provided shelter from the fighting.  Sources said that at times their generally outspoken attitude toward what they stated were the forces driving the conflict made them targets, similar to humanitarian workers.

The U.S. Ambassador and other embassy representatives promoted religious freedom through discussions and outreach with religious leaders and civil society organizations.

 

My Note: As my novel implies, South Sudan is basically a Christian country, but beware of its government not following constitutional guarantees. Sadly, this fact overshadows most African countries' best intentions in their constitutional governments.  

Update for Short in Height, Tall in Courage

 

 

     Hello. While waiting to hear from publishers, I try not to worry or create additional stress by second guessing my writing which is always inspired by God if my Spiritual ears have been focused. Jesus said in Luke 12:25, "Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to your life?" It is difficult not to worry, but I try to practice it - to try and make it a rote habit.

     If God wants the book to be published, no person or event can stop it. If God does not want the book published, no person or event can accomplish that.

     I never set out to write this book. I set out to write a short story that stretched my skills and knowledge. The response was such that I wrote a follow-up story. The inspiration just kept coming, the story wouldn't let me go. Whether the book is a bestseller or not, I thoroughly enjoyed writing the book, and would gladly write a sequel. I write for God and the love of writing. Money and notoriety is way down on my list of wants. At the same time, I'm human and very competitive. I want success, but God's glory is foremost. At 72, I've experienced the ultra-highs and lows of life, but writing for God is an honor that dwarfs any monetary or social success I may experience. As our Lord taught while upon this earth, He continually teaches me. I will die with my boots on: writing and serving my Lord.

     As soon as I hear good or bad news, I will inform you.

You Are My God, and I Am Your Servant

 

     It may seem backwards, but in the real world, power lies with those who serve. When you serve those lower than yourself, you serve the one true God of Israel. Matthew 20:16 "So the last shall be first, and the first last: for many be called, but few chosen." Many called but many are too self-righteous and lack faith.  Serve as though you are serving Christ himself. Matthew 25:40 "...whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me. Have the faith of a child. Matthew 18:2-4 "He called a little child to him and placed the child among them. And he said: 'Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.'" Not blind obedience, but innocent faith.